"The" One.

My Facebook marital status has been "single" for over two years now. It seems almost impossible that it has been that long. But the months go by whether we will it or no and in that time I have given A LOT of thought to what I am looking for in "the one". Wakefulness was keeping me tossing and turning last night and I started to put all these little thoughts together and I wrote them down in my journal which is filled with much more juicy detail than I would ever dare put here but I wrote the following summation at last:

I will wait for someone who has armored himself with the strength and presence of a man. Who, underneath, is filled with tenderness, good humor, and love. And when the hard day is done I can look to and trust because his core is composed of the sort of honor that separates men from boys.

Those are really big shoes (preferably covering the feet of someone tall and handsome but I am really not as picky on that front). There are certain conversations I just am not willing to have with my future spouse. They are things I won't need to tell him because they are as intrinsic as the quiet comfort of a darkening horizon.

I don't expect that things will be perfect or even close but in the infinite wisdom of my best friend, "you don't have to compromise on being married to a grown up."

And I don't intend to...anymore. We accept the love we think we deserve. When I opened my heart to this one line, social media repost my choices became limited, sure, but the sort of love I am destined for became the kind capable of gripping the soul and spanning a lifetime. And my heart can't settle for anything less.

Book Club?

I remember reading my first romance novel. Stolen (borrowed) from the overcrowded bookshelving in the office at my parents' house, the yellow front cover displayed two cherubic angels pulling back lace curtains to reveal a Victorian style bassinet and proclaimed the title in huge red lettering, Nobody's Baby But Mine.

I don't remember much about the book really except that it was about a really smart woman who wants to have a baby with someone dumb because she doesn't want her child to be ostrasized by society for being a braniac. Then it turns out that the not-so-smart professional quarterback whose child she carried was actually *gasp* SUMMA CUM LAUDE at his very prestigious, ivy league school. And imagine her surprise! But then they forgive each other, get married, and live happily ever after (with a few super steamy sex scenes, of course.)

And I don't know how many Jude Deveraux novels I read after that. There is one I remember specifically for some reason called Twin of Ice. His name is Kane Taggart. Her name is Houston Chandler. You already must know where this is going even just knowing their names but at the end of the most scandalous chapter my 16 year old eyes had ever beheld Kane Taggart stands up with pebbles stuck to his backside (imagine!) creating the dimpled look common to sitting on wicker.

The truth is, no matter how cheesy, I have not met a book I didn't like. Except for anything I had to read in high school English. No Mrs. Boch-Parker, I would not like to read this meandering, pointless novel written by a manic depressive feminist. Being on Hitler's blacklist does not make you a good writer...well, unless your Anne Frank because she is amazing. Okay, so maybe I am being too hard on Virginia Woolf but I hated that book and I was pretty sure that my teacher knew I only read half the Spark Notes version.

The only exception to the high school syllabus reading exception is THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH which I don't think counts because watching a classroom full of teenagers look on horrified as the words "scented bush" are read aloud makes me lol even ten years later.

Really, long story short I want to start a book club. Because I am obsessed with books. And I want to talk about them with people. Would anyone want to do it? We could do it online as a Facebook group even?

PLEASE!?