This entry, like many is brought to you by the letter E. E is for elephant but also for Erika who has inspired this particular posting. (No, that is not a fat joke) and the number 10 because that's where this post is on the honesty scale.
I have Sesame Streeted* my introduction today because I want to talk about a little thing I like to call the "grammar police". The English language is almost as ridiculous as I am. Who can keep up? You're, your, their, there, they're, by, buy, bye, too, to, two. "I" comes before "e" except after "c" and this list of 264 exceptions? A silent "k"? A silent "p"? "PH" makes the same sound as "f"? Who came up with this load of bull?
Unfortunately for us the English language hasn't changed much since we learned it so there really is know excuse for not nowing that you're is the conjunction (junction what's your function) for you are. No it's not, I lied! I only said that because I really wanted to make a School House Rock reference. You're is actually a contraction for you are. I do not want to go to you're house. I want to go to your house. Make sense? Eh? No. Great. Here is the situation: I am not asking that you be a grammatical or literary genius. I am only asking that you know that the word "no" as in negative is not spelled "noe", the word "was" does not have a "z" in it; or a "u" for that matter, and this may come as a shock but there is a difference between there and their.
We all have our weaknesses. I for instance will never fully comprehend the difference between affect and effect and I use a lot of unnecessary commas. I can however make a match.com profile that does not look like a middle school student broke into my computer and thought it would be "real funny" to type something that kind of makes me look like a "d-bag". Just saying.
While this post was a little mean, I just want to let everyone know that it is actually a little important to try to use words properly. If you can't know the different between too and to, how are you going to pen a resume?
For your learning pleasure I offer the following definitions in my own words:
Sesame Streeted (verb): to bring entertainment to a person or group of people sponsored by a letter or a number.
Your: a reference to something belonging to another. "What's your sign?"
You're: a contraction for you are. "You're a very good blogger, Sara"
To: is a preposition. We won't even get into that. I know how to use it; that should be enough. The only thing you need to know about to is that it is cheating to use this word in scrabble. Also, "to" loves verbs.
Too: this is the correct "too" to use instead of "also" (ie. I want to go too) Too is also used before adjectives to describe something that is in excess (as in: you can never be too rich, too thin, or too far down on the table. Yep, I went there)
There: a place. "She is over there"
Their: possessive-belonging to someone. "I went to their house"
They're: contraction for they are. "They're planning a sick party."
Buy: purchase. "I like to buy a lot of cheese"
By: another preposition. Basically it means next to. Kind of. Just go with it; you should know how to use this one by now.
Bye: see ya.
No really, I am out.
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