As You Wish.

Nothing breaks the monotony like spending a lot of money on something you do not necessarily need. So I needn't tell most of you that my totally random nature has led me to the purchase of a new car. I bought a 2011 Honda Accord. It's the first car I bought by myself. I went to the dealership by myself.

And I realize, even in the excitement, that it's really over. I am not a kid anymore. I am making my own decisions. Building my own life. And while advice is sometimes nice, it's not necessary. It's not an order. I am responsible for my own life. That's a tall order! I know this may seem like a late revelation. I mean, really, I am almost 24-I have been on my own for going on 6 years. But the weight of my decisions is sometimes very heavy thus the blog on the magic 8 ball. I joke a lot...but it's scary to have no one to blame for your decisions but yourself. Isn't that a terrible way of looking at it? I am such a pessimist. Ooops realist!

I know it may seem like I am blathering on but it is hard for me to put this into words. Me? Without words? Inconceivable! And while that might not mean what I think it means (Princess Bride reference, hello) the fact remains that I did something today because I could. Because I wanted to. And because I am blessed enough to be able to. I never do anything just because I can. It's months of agonizing. Am I making the right choice? The wrong one? Is there a better one? Indecision consumes. I have wanted this car for a long time. Actually acting on it-well, I never thought I would.

Okay, so according to my dad I could have bought a "fleet of Ford Fiestas" for the price of my car. I won't say he's wrong-but who wants to have a bunch of Fiestas? Actually, don't answer that. I know he is jealous of my mad car picking out skills.

At any rate there is something to be said for a well thought out decision. But there is also something to be said for not wasting so much time not choosing. When I think of how much life I wasted making a conscience choice to just not choose right now, I cringe. Right, wrong, indifferent, the choosing feels great. There is healing in trusting yourself enough to make the right decisions.  Maybe it leads me on a path careening toward destruction but maybe it leads to an amazing meadow with a glittering Edward Cullen...

No matter what you choose the freedom to do so is a beautiful gift.

Choose wisely, but just do it already!