Girls burp and don't excuse themselves. They act like whores and think it's funny and charming. Guys talk loud and get cocky. They get all sweaty at the bar and try to rub up against you. I have some really bad stories about being drunk.
The first time I ever got schmashed was my friend Rachel's 18th birthday party. I remember it distinctly because of its abundance of ridiculous comments and eventual loss of shirt that resulted in totally hungover shame.
I'm a total control freak. My job requires it of me. My life requires it of me. I hate being out of control which equates to hating being drunk. When I start to feel that first bit of wooziness, I usually quit. Maybe once a year I will keep knocking them back until the point of no return. I think the last time I was actually really quite drunk was...I can't remember...New Years of 2009 maybe?
I don't like to say things I will regret the next day. I do that enough without the help of alcohol. It's not classy or cute to stumble around like an idiot and slur your words. It's annoying.
Every time I go out I see someone that I think the following about:
You're not funny. You're not charming. Everyone is laughing at you. Please put some clothes on and go home before you accidentally procreate.
Wow. I am not a nice girl at all. But this is a public service announcement. Not a gruesome one that shows what happens when you get addicted to methamphetamine and crack cocaine and you have scabs on your face and no family. A more light hearted public service announcement to say slow "Slooow down", the world is not your puking palace.
With that said, have a great weekend!
Sara
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