A year that I spent questioning who I was and who I would be. Comparing that to who I want to be. Making the changes I needed to and convincing myself that I deserve to be human; that the mistakes I have made were (mostly) worth making. Sometimes the person you need to forgive the most is yourself. And when you're able to do that the days you were letting pass by in regret; watching as if bored suddenly spring up to meet you and the path that you thought you were walking alone is suddenly filled with people who have loved you even when you haven't reciprocated with enough time, credit, or love. A path that you thought was filled with despair is filled with hope and that is when I....
....learned the value of good friendships. How important it is to support people and how much I need my best friends. I need to be their ear and their shoulder and I love that I can always trust them to be mine. Women I love like family; who I would do anything for.
I learned that it is not foolish to trust people. I don't want to live in a state of jade. I want to always laugh, always sing made up songs, and feel with an untainted heart.
I learned that some people will take advantage; take as much rope as you give them and then hang you with it. These people do not usually know that they are doing; they are human too. So I have let them be and see that I never really wanted them in my life to start with.
I learned that I actually like myself. Sure I am not the paradigm of the proverbial woman and my antics sometimes flirt with obnoxious BUT I am clever and smart, ridiculous, steadfast, silly, caring, hard working, happy, and filled with hope.
I am hoping 2012 will be the year that I finally seal the cracks, accomplish my goals, and become the woman I want to be. Every day you choose who you want to be. I can see clearly who that is now and I can't wait. Bring it on 2012!
Happy New Year!
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