I had an epiphany while blow drying my hair this morning: the leading cause of frustration in my life stems from the fact that I focus on how people who were not raised like me behave.
Wow. I am probably a terrible person but hear me out. I don't mean that I don't like people whose parents didn't buy them their first car. I mean people who were not constantly taught, corrected, and shown by example the fruits of lives lived on the basis of morals, common sense, and hard work.
This is why the current state of affairs in America disgusts me. I cannot understand how anyone would actually choose to sit at home on their neighbor's dime.
Here is an example: When my brother was a senior in high school he got into trouble with my parents; I don't even remember why but the end result was his getting his keys taken away. Now, my mom was recounting this story to her coworkers one day and one of them reprimanded my mom's parenting decision by snidely commenting, "How embarrassing for him. He's a senior and you're making him take the bus." To which my mom in all her opinionated wisdom replied, "he needs to know that he is not entitled to a car. He cannot handle the responsibilities of driving and is not too good to take the bus."
And so it went at our house. I would never say that we were perfect children but I will say that we have great parents. I am sure we had our moments but I can recall many times when our attitudes, fit throwing, and back talking were not tolerated. I remember when they called our friends' houses to make sure we were really there, when they insisted that we do well in school, and when after a long day at work when my mom felt like taking a nap she made dinner instead so that we could all sit at the table together.
My parents didn't have just one job. They had two and being a parent always came first (and probably still does; much to their chagrin you're kids never outgrow you).
So many people don't realize the full weight of their responsibility when they have children. I think they "know" that it's a lifetime commitment but don't actually understand what that means. They don't understand that every decision they make, every word they say, and every lesson-by words and actions-can effect that child for its whole life. They love their children but because they don't actually fully comprehend that it doesn't matter what you "feel like" doing they sometimes end up rearing children that are angry, poorly adjusted, entitled, and lazy.
Dennis Prager said it best on the radio a while back:
How you feel matters to you. How you behave matters to the other 6 billion people in the world.
You have a responsibility to yourself and the world to be the best version of you that you can be. Making mature decisions for your life, finances, and health no matter what you "feel" like doing will not only give you a better life but it will better the lives of those around you.
My epiphany this morning made me realize how thankful I am that I was taught these things by my parents and how sad it is that some people have had to learn these hard lessons on their own or worse; not at all.
I think going forward I will feel differently about people who were not necessarily raised how I was. I will be more confident in standing up for what I believe in and speaking out against what I don't. Living each day with compassion for others without allowing people to take advantage of my kindness is sure to alleviate my frustration. After all-it's not about how I "feel" it's about what I do and in the end it's not even CLOSE to being all about me.
Thank you mom and dad for being wonderful parents. The depth of your love and commitment to us does not go unnoticed.
Sorry for the long post but wow, I had a long thought-Apparently it takes me a long time to dry my hair.
Sara
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