Those who know me well know that I have a total obsession with that show Hoarders on A&E. It always makes me feel a range of emotion-empathetic and annoyed, happy and sad-I just do not understand. I am the anti-pack rat so much that I sometimes regret throwing something away. I do not keep greeting cards unless they are particularly sentimental and all of my memories fit into a 2'x4' Lane Bryant hope chest that my Grandma Schmidt gave me for a graduation present. The little box holds all my memories of childhood: my journals dating back to sixth grade when I "loved" boys I never actually spoke to, yearbooks, cards, notes, planners, a brown jacket with torn elbows and frayed edges that I practically lived in my junior/senior year, a Barbie balloon from my 15th birthday at the lake, and pictures. I wouldn't get rid of these things for all the hot chocolate lava cake in the world. I also wouldn't get attached to garbage.
My friends also know that I have a 30 minute rule. The 30 minute rule is this: My house is never dirtier than I can get cleaned in 30 minutes. If someone calls and says, "Is it okay if we stop by?" I always want to be able to say yes without a worry that I will be embarrassed by the condition of my house.
The truth is, I always want my home to be warm and welcoming. Nothing says I have walls up to me than a dirty house. I think that my attitude about house cleanliness comes from the fear that I will be perceived as unwelcoming.
The other strange thing is that I know when I state of mind is deteriorating by the condition of my house. When I am stressed or extremely sad I let everything go to shit. I stop following the rule. When I am happy I will do dishes with bells on and clean light switches and base boards. I know I am not a hoarder but I can relate to that feeling of needing stuff around me to feel calm sometimes. This is why I try to be diligent to find a happy medium between messy and compulsive. I am starting to truly recognize things in myself-my strengths and weaknesses. I think that this is the most important step in being a happy, balanced person.
Until Tomorrow,
Sara
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