Looking for love (in all the wrong places?)

I have done a thorough study on the merits of the Craigslist junkyard and come up with a few simple rules to help those who are looking for love in all the wrong places. The same situation just different faces...what was I doing? Oh right. List. Okay, here goes:

1. If the post says, "I am married" in it; don't respond.
2. If the post says, "recently divorced" in it; don't respond.
3. If the post names any part of the female anatomy; don't respond.
4. If the post names any part of the male anatomy; don't respond.
5. If the post has a misspelled word in the title; don't respond.
6. If the post uses so many acronyms that your next tab is open to urbandictionary.com; don't respond.
7. If the post makes any reference to doing something to you; don't respond.
8. If the post says anything followed or preceded by the words, "I guess"; don't respond.
9. If the post is or contains a poem of any kind written by the posting author or any author for that matter; don't respond.
10. If the post contains words abbreviated by letters (ex. r for are); don't respond.
11. If the post depicts any unclothed part of the human body normally clothed with the exception of a particular beach or weird art class; don't respond.

Following these stipulations will basically eliminate any need for the use of the CL personal section. Now if you find a post that exceeds expectation RESPOND IMMEDIATELY. He is either lying or your soul mate!

Seriously though; I can scarcely believe the things I read. Someone posted the other day looking for "Risque Cleaning". What even IS that!? And he said he would compensate the responder for their efforts. I wonder if it was the police departments attempt at a sting of some kind because cleaning in lingerie sounds like the least sexy thing ever. I don't know about you but when I clean my house by the end I am sweaty, I have bleach stained my shirt, I have dishwater running down my front and I smell like a chemical lab. I suppose if it was light cleaning in lingerie that it might be okay but the poster did not specify the duration or intensity of the cleaning project he would be compensating for. I hope he pays in Trident Layers! Goody! But I digress.

I haven't done a CL "addition" in a while but thought that on Valentine's Day it would be appropriate to share where not to find love. :o)

Have a wonderful day,

Sara!