I am like a TV series; new entries beginning January 1!

I am too full of junk food and excited for Christmas to write too much profoundness.

Christmas is in 9 days according to the date-keeping snowman on the shelf in the kitchen, I am almost done Christmas shopping, and I am SO excited to spend time with my friends and family. I have no especially important wisdom to bestow regarding Christmas except this:

We all "know" that Christmas is about the birth of Christ. Even though scholars say that Jesus was not in fact born in December at all and it is only celebrated in December because it was easier for pagans to convert if Christian holidays were observed during the holidays of those pagans. Christmas falls at the same time as "bruma" or the winter solstice. But to me it is really neither here nor there and while I will not get into the politics of Christmas because it makes me sad and disappointed at the world I will say that I believe. I am so thankful for the promise and subsequent birth of our savior, thankful that I will spend eternity in heaven, and thankful for the sacrifice that the Lord made that while we were yet sinners he died for us. I celebrate on December 25th to thank Him for all my blessings big and small.

In the spirit of giving and the knowledge that I have been given resources, love, and life in abundance I wish a Merry Christmas to you and your family.

May The LORD bless thee, and keep thee (Numbers 6:24)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year; see you in 2012!

Sara

Okay Friends!!

It is almost the end of the year (EGADS!) And the one year anniversary of this here blog...here. Okay, I can't be redneck even when I try!

The purpose of this little diddy is to kindly ask my readers the following:

What do you want my commentary on in the following year; what do you want to read?
What was your favorite entry this year?
I want to start doing a weekly advice entry (with guest writers to help solve all of your life's problems!) So I need some people to give advice to!

What I would love (seriously love!) for you to do: comment here, comment on the link I will post to my facebook, or message me on Facebook. Send me your questions, concerns, comments, criticism, etc.

Cannot wait to here (hehe) from you!

I am totally stunned by the ability of certain people to abjectly disregard social awareness.

I will not get into details here but I have been faced with several situations lately where the following has applied:

Just because I handled myself wrong doesn't mean I was wrong.

And in that thinking I am desperately trying to both handle myself well and be right... :o) Not really; but I am literally begging the question of which is better: Being right and proving it with pithy, sarcastic and/or snotty dialogue or handling myself with grace and class so that I am never thought a fool when I am wrong or thought immature in vindication.

But it is SO frustrating because so many people have the uncanny ability to abjectly disregard social awareness. AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE!

Rude, lazy, filthy, crass, immoral, deplorable. Women who lie, cheat, and steal. Selfish women. Women who mistreat their husbands or boyfriends because they have been taught by society that it's not only funny but acceptable. It can all be too much for our sensibilities to bear!

I am not perfect. Not by any stretch of the imagination but I TRY. I try to maintain some modicum of ladylike-ness. I am horrified by women who don't have a desire to be somewhat socially aware.

Because being graceful is very often even sweeter than being right; it is nearly impossible to find fault in class. This is not to say we allow others to walk all over us. We find satisfaction in saying what needs to be said kindly and with love. We are not rugs!

So, this is for all the wonderful and socially aware women I know. Because we know that it is especially important in today's world to be what so many people are not. And because we have all known at least one female who takes us to the edge of our patience, wears our social graces to the breaking point, and tests our class to the point that we need a very good friend to tell us to calm ourselves, reach inside, and be the lovely person that is inside every careful woman.

Classy women never lose their dignity.

Stay classy. It really is important.

Craigslist: Where anyone can find a girlfriend, even inmates.

Today I clicked on "best pick up line ever" in the personals. Among the usual misspellings, blathering, and goings on I really needed to know what was being advertised as the best pick up line ever. Little did I know that by clicking on this particular ad I would be opening up a can of worms as big as his record itself. And without further ado; the convict's friendly plea:

Best pickup line ever - 28 (Alaska)

I know you're excited as you very well should be but try to keep your lady garments on for the time being. 

Let me start by telling you a little about me, I'm a 28 year old single white guy from Anchorage who by a stroke of life has found himself incarcerated in Kenai.

Unfortunately for me, but fortunate for you, the previous women in my life have lacked some of the fundamental characteristics that define a human being, things like a soul for example, nothing major. I would say they were about as useful as a woman without a vagina or if that's too offensive, a puke flavored jellybean (isn't that allegedly popcorn flavored?)

I think it goes without saying it can get kind of boring, lonely, and even a little depressing without contact from a woman. Unless you count the ladies who work here who are really more like souless soldiers of Satan.

I have a few pics on my facebook page to get you in the mood and if you're bored, lonely, intrigued or desperate or otherwise, I'd love to hear from you, unless of course you are the type of person who would criticize the spelling in a suicide note, then maybe you should consider counseling, which......I"d be willing to offer at a discounted price.

You can look me up on Facebook under Jason ************ to see some pics, but you'll have to write to me since I dont have internet access.... 

Jason ********************
Wildwood Correctional Complex
10 Chugach Way
Kenai, AK 99611

So here's the pickup line..."Walk up to a chick or dude at the bar and say "Did you invite all these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us!" 
____________________________________________________________________________

Okay! I will admit. I giggled a little bit at first and totally thought he was using the word incarcerated in a more hyperbolic sense and was expressing his feelings about being stuck in a small town. The further I read however the more apparent it became that he was not merely being clever with words and the more horrified I became so that by the end the BEST PICK UP LINE EVER didn't really even seem funny.

And then of course my spider senses were twitching and I just HAD to know what had landed our dear poster in the slammer. And he did do what he shouldn't have done; gave his last name. And so, Courtview being my good friend of many years didn't let me down. I know, I know....a rep sheet detailing 28 incidents does not mean 28 convictions but it would be hard to discount 2 DUIs, drug charges, numerous theft charges, domestic violence protection orders, and of course a ticket for forgetting to stop at a stop light.

I mean really, if it was a "stroke of life" that landed him in jail then my name is Mrs. Keebler and I am here to gather rainbows for my friend Lucky who makes pagan cereal.

I think he lacks fundamental human characteristics...like morals, sanity, or ability to discern the gravity of his decisions. I don't feel bad that he's lonely. I feel bad that they gave him so many chances to screw people over. I am not empathetic to his plight because from his ad it seems that he still does not recognize that he was wrong and thinks it's just a big joke. A stroke of life my right foot...a stroke of your thieving hand maybe.

I am just glad I can say that it appears no one is responding to his charming posts because when I exited CL and had to search for the ad again I saw that he had posted three times.


Sincerely,

Mrs. Keebler <3

Sara's disclaimer for offended people: I didn't go to the courthouse and pull each case. I have no idea the outcome of each case. All information was obtained through public information. :o)

Fat Girls Don't Go Outside.

So annoyed and adding this to my arsenal of reasons why I have to get not fat. I am really interested in adding skiing to my list of things to do this winter so that I can reach my goal of thinness by my 25th birthday. However I cannot find a pair of snow pants that I like that fit...anywhere. Not even online. I am so pissed right now. At myself mostly, but also at the fact that clothing manufacturers are apparently hellbent on keeping consumers fat by not making any outdoor gear that I can stuff my big butt into. They  make pants ranging from small to quite large for men but for women the only pants available are for extra extra small to large. Of course, I could buy pants made for men but they make me look like I have junk. So that is not advised.

Because fat girls hate to go outside.

Confidence. Health. Style. In that order. Add now: Confidence, health, style, and snow pants.

Now, if you don't mind I am going to go gut myself so I can purchase the proper snow gear for skiing and outdoor purposes.

Thank you for listening to my rant. Okay.

Sara

It kindles my spirit.

With a sheet of snow on the ground and sunsets that grow earlier each day it can be said that winter has officially taken hold. Outside smells like an icy, crisp heaven; the air is so fresh. In a strange way it feels like starting again. I know that is what spring is for but growing up in Alaska I have always felt that winter marks the beginning of Alaska's beauty. October is dead and ugly. Once the leaves fall from the trees it is essentially a waiting game for the flakes to fall and once they do a lifeless Alaska transforms into a vibrant (if freezing) paradise with expanses of land that beg for adventure.

There is nothing better than playing in the outside all day and coming inside when the sun begins to fail to down some hot coco and play Phase 10 with family or friends. Or how on a clear night away from the city I can see every star in the sky winking from millions of miles away.

The clarity surprises me while the cold embraces me and I cannot wish for anything more than that moment, this life, and a silence that is alive with energy.

I can see my breath on the silent night and the reverence I feel almost takes it away. I close my eyes against a world that is lit by the moon's reflection on the snow. I stay there for a moment sunk into a bank of powder. The world sparkles and there is simply no help for this Alaskan because as my eyes open again I see a land that is so beautiful and contrary that I would never be able to stop calling it home.


(Please someone remind me of this when it snows at the end of April!!!)
But until then; happy winter! Get out and enjoy Alaska!

Sara

Etymology

Etymology is super fascinating to me. Partly because it's awesome but mostly because I am a huge nerd. Today, for some strange reason, I was pondering the origins of "Olly Olly Oxen Free." (Because it's something I say frequently, obviously :o))

It appears that origins are muddled. Some say that "oxen" is actually a childish corruption of "all in" and that the phrase is actually "Everybody all in free." Indicating that it is okay for the hide-and-seek game participants to abandon their hiding places without losing the game. Some say that the call is really "Olly Olly, all in free" and the "olly" is merely a loud call to make sure all players are aware that the round is over. Other opinions are that Olly, olly oxen free is really "All ye, all ye outs are free" or "Alle alle auch sind frei" which translates to "Everyone, everyone is also free".

I think I will stick to olly, olly oxen free because really it's the only chance I ever get to say oxen.

Kick the bucket is also interesting. It is said to make reference to a hanging; where the bucket is kicked out from under a person who is then left to die. However it appears that the use of bucket in this sense may have come from the french word "buquet" which means balance. To kick the bucket means to upset the balance or to die.

Anyway, that is your random fact for the day. What is the etymology of your favorite word or phrase?

Sara