What A Total Pratt: A CL Edition.

It has been so long, too long I think, since I have done a CL edition. I felt so inspired after reading this one though that I couldn't help but do my thing.

Where are the real girls at? Seriously. - m4w - 22 (Soldotna)

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Date: 2012-05-31, 12:29AM AKDT
Reply to: c9jr3-3043865838@pers.craigslist.org

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This is so weird. I am posting an ad on Craigslist to find girls. I mean really? I'm not some awkward person I'm actually quite the opposite. I'll show pictures because I don't care. I don't even live in anchorage. But i drive up all the time. I'm just tired of going out and seeing these girls that aren't even good looking. Or just weird or whatever. For instance, Im trying to dance with an actual cute girl and then there's her boyfriend who just starts acting really sad and angry. Then the rest of the girls around are just no good.

Ok so now it sounds like I go to the bars all the time. Not true. But I do like to have fun. Everyone says I'm crazy. Its great. Hahaha

So enough with that. I know there's random girls that read these but they think these guys are creepers and weird.

So if there's any real girls out there that are good looking feel free to reply. This has been a huge rant just because I don't want some elephant blowing up my phone. Everyone's going to be really sad about everything I'm saying but I'm just saying what everyone else is too afraid to say.

So no whales. Just saying.

I dont want a girlfriend. Especially one off Craigslist. But I mean think of how cool that would make me. Call me or text me or whatever and then this weekend we will go have fun.
I'm going to spell out my phone number because I guess that's cool.

Nine oh seven. Three nine four. Four nine oh seven.

Or you can email me and I'll just take alot longer to respond. Here's pictures of me with just randoms.

I'm actually an awesome guy. This makes me sound crazy though.

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Dear "Where The Girls At?", 

First of all in answer to your question I just want to point out that you live in Soldotna. I could be wrong but might it just be possible that the "girls" are not in Soldotna? 

My main reason for writing however isn't to discuss the Soldotna census but rather that I am worried about your sobriety; were you drunk when you posted this? I am not asking because you ended the title of your ad with a preposition but more because that would be the only thing to excuse this much dumb.

I became especially lost about mid way when you began spouting hatred for large animals. Maybe you have had a bad experience with elephants but sir, I must assure you that I have never known an elephant to blow up someone's phone. How silly!

Also I am appalled at your accusation that only awkward people post on CL. I mean really, sometimes a girl just has to sell her Pomapoos for $1,000 each. (A Pomapoo is a cross between a Poodle and a Pomeranian. Must I explain everything!?) That doesn't mean she is awkward, it means she is a crook. No one wants your stupid designer dog! But I digress.

Your post didn't make me sad at all really...mostly because I didn't understand where you were going. You kept saying blah blah, I am not crazy, blah blah, people on CL are all losers, I hate large ocean dwellers blah blah. Me thinks that thou doth protesteth too much if you know what I mean.

Oh, and just as a side note when people say, "you're so crazy" it is usually code for: You are the most obnoxious person I have ever spoken to but I am a nice and unsure about how you will retaliate so I will just giggle and say something harmless like 'you're so crazy.' It's not a funny compliment, I promise.

In conclusion, would you mind toning down the stupid? Your brand of annoying is making me wish I could make you put a dollar in the douche bag jar.

Happy to help!

Sara