In high school I was obsessed with having a nose job. I hated my nose. I thought it was huge. Whenever I would see a picture where my nose was prominent; I would cringe. Apparently, my parents didn't think that plastic surgery was an awesome idea and I would have to wait until adulthood to obtain said rhinoplasty. Now that I am 24 I have not only come to terms with my "Houser Schnauzer" but I actually kind of like it. It's quirky and quite frankly fits nicely on my enormous noggin.
I am so often (constantly really) obsessing over something.
Sometimes I just can't shut my brain up. It is like a perpetual strain of perpetually inconsequential thoughts. We are never really happy with ourselves. And not in a "never stop bettering yourself" way. It seems like it is more often than not in a, "how about I constantly beat myself up about my self destructive behaviors" way. I recently started following a blog where she talks about how whenever she starts to mentally berate herself she plays a game called "I bet Taylor Swift never..." Where she lists all the things she does that Taylor probably never does. Which is ridiculous but also very funny. Because I started to do it too. And really, if I am going to obsess over everything, I might as well have a go at laughing about it.
Today I obsessed over the following things:
How everything I say lately is categorically unfunny.
How many things I do not do because I am too busy playing "draw something".
How many people have inadvertently heard me say bad things about them because the phone hadn't quite hung up (I have had a quite horrific experience with that...)
Which reminds me of that story. So once upon a time in a far away land at the offices of a most beloved employer my most beloved supervisor (ish) (ish as in she was 'ish' my supervisor not 'ish' beloved) was leaving the company and wanted me to go to her new company with her. Now if you have never had an I am in love with/I hate my escrow officer relationship you might not understand why I wanted to leave a great company to follow my coworker to the unknown. Half of it was because she used to call and leave voicemails of just her howling and once left a voicemail greeting when she went on vacation that said "if you need immediate assistance please contact my partner Sara". Which, uh, I am sorry but I am not her "partner" and we laughed so hard at the messages that ensued that I almost peed myself.The other half was that she taught me everything I know and we got shit done when we were a team.
So yea, I was going to follow her. I had an interview at the other company and totally nailed the job. (No that is NOT what she said). I wanted to share the news and my lovely friend was still at the office and I called her to tell her the good news. Only she didn't answer her cell so I called the front desk to have them transfer me to her office line and the mainline voicemail kicked in. Meanwhile she called me on her cell phone and I somehow managed to conference in the front desk voicemail and it recorded the entire conversation.
The next day I got called to the Principal's (eer...president) office and he sat me down and proceeded to tell me that somehow the conversation had been recorded and it was brought to his attention that I would be leaving the company. It was all very awkward.
In the end I didn't leave. And I wasn't fired. Which has put me in a situation for which I am very grateful but the whole thing has made me very paranoid about the call status of any phone conversation where important and/or catty information is exchanged.
These are the kind of things that seem to always happen to me.
I bet Taylor Swift never got caught in a technology crossfire where her conversation containing Charlie Sheeny goodness was recorded for the world to hear.
I love that game...CROSSFIRE.
Okay, I really have to be done now.
Sara
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